


Roses

by Nikaya



Category: American Dragon: Jake Long, Disney - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Romance, Tragedy, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 21:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6488728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikaya/pseuds/Nikaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why did she have to go? She knows my secret now, but does she really have to leave me behind? Rose... I have to find you... I have to... even if it kills me..." One-shot; song-fic. WARNING: Contains strong emotional content.<br/>This story is as if Jake was writing in a journal about his lose of Rose, his love. It follows the show from the end of season one to the end of season two. This is also a song-fic, so I highly recommend listening to the song Roses by April Sixth. Original Publish: March 2010</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roses

** **

**When I heard the song "Roses" by April Sixth, I couldn’t help but think how perfectly it fits how Jake probably felt in his time without Rose. I hated how they didn’t give him any emotion about her or even mention her in the time she was gone. So this is my take on how he felt.**

**_~*~_**

Rose...Roses...They’re all the same.

                                                                                          ***

_You took the roses, dead and gone, I gave._

_You took the sun, the moon from which we made._

_You’ll be the one to kill me, in the end._

_All the promises you swore were true._

_You’re full of lies in everything you do._

_You’ll be the one to ruin me._

_Maybe after all, you will see._

_As I start to cut away and start to take my life...._

                                                                                          ***

Yesterday, I found out that Rose... _Huntsgirl,_ is gone. She transferred schools, and now I’m here...

_Alone._

I’m sitting in my room with my curtains closed. Summer vacation started this morning, but I’ve been sitting here with my door locked, debating the choice I’m about to make.

_I’m never going to see her again anyway. And even if I did, she might want to kill me._

But I love her....

_Rose..._

_I love you._

In spite of my debate that has been taking place for over five hours now, I quickly shifted my hand into my dragon form.

My stomach has been twisting and contorting itself into tighter and tighter knots for days. Ever since the moment I told her who I really am, my emotions have been taking a toll on me. I’ve made myself sick from this, and I can’t take it anymore!

My black claws were gleaming and shimmering in the little amount of glow from the sun through my curtains. I drew them back, far and closed my eyes in spite of myself. Then, I tore them down, and I instantly feel flesh rip open, and I scented the smell of blood.

I screamed in pain, but I didn’t allow it to be loud enough that someone else would hear. I dropped down to my side, crying. I cried from the severity of my emotions...not the physical pain in the least. I cried because of how much pity I felt for myself. I was truly pathetic.

I opened my eyes and looked at the blood dripping onto the floor and covering my arm. I became drenched in it, and I started to drown in emotion.

_Rose..._

***

_Maybe after all, you will see._

_As I start to cut away, and take my life!_

                                                                                          ***

The summer is now over, and I’ve tried everything to stop thinking about her.

First, I was totally convinced she was being held hostage in the Huntslair.... Wrong.

Then, I tried writing about her.... Not so hot....

And then... I tried going to monks for help. That was definitely not the best option.

For some reason, my mind keeps wandering back to that day in my room. It didn’t help, but it was better than everything else I’ve tried. Now, I have scars on my arms from it. I keep my jacket on whenever I can so no one sees them.

Anyway, last night, I had a dream about her. I think she was calling to me....

I talked to Fu about it, and he said we were going to try to make a potion. We just got the last ingredient, so we’re going back to my place to test it out.

Rose...I’m coming.

                                                                                          ***

_You took the roses, dead and gone, I gave._

_You took the sun, the moon from which we made._

_You’ll be the one to kill me, in the end._

_All the promises you swore were true._

_You’re full of lies in everything you do._

_You’ll be the one to ruin me._

_Maybe after all, you will see._

_As I start to cut away and start to take my life...._

                                                                                          ***

Turns out, we messed up the potion. We mixed an ingredient from another recipe, and.... Well, you get it.

 So anyway, from bizarre connection I have to her in my heart, (love maybe?) a portal of her appeared when we got the potion right.

I saw her. She’s _alive._

And now that I know she’s alive...I have a _need_...

To be with her.

                                                                                          ***

_Maybe after all, you will see._

_As I start to cut away and start to take my life!_

_It’s sick!_

                                                                                          ***

I just came back from a brutal journey.

I died...sort of...and I saw her.

Rose.... She was relocated to New York again. My pain is gone...finally.

Now, we’re fighting side-by-side...sort of, being as we’re against each other, but she’s undercover and working for us now.

I’ve always known she’s known the right path in her heart. She knows she belongs with us...with _me._

All is going well, and hopefully it’ll stay that way....

                                                                                          ***

_As I start to cut away,_

_You’ve got to promise me_

_That you will take my knife...._

                                                                                          ***

Yesterday was a living hell.

First, just as I was about to give her roses, (sad, I know) she told me that she didn’t want to go on the Love Cruise with me... _that night!_

_God, damn it!_ I’m such an _asshole!_ I knew there was a reason why she did it! But no! I just _had_ to shoot her with a love arrow cuz I felt jealous. Way to go, Jake!

Anyway, my brilliant Gramps had told her that a distracted dragon is a slain dragon. So, she followed his orders to dump me for my own protection, meanwhile I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and she ruined me!

I did it again. I was laying in my bed this time, trying to tell myself that it wouldn’t matter in the end.

It wasn’t good enough.

I whipped out my claws again and scrapped myself, ripping open the scars. It hurt like hell, but it was nothing compared to the _other_ pain.

If only she knew...but I don’t want to tell her because she’ll probably just make me get help or something. But at least she’d come back to me....

But I just can’t....

               ***

It’s been a day now since I wished for her new life. I can’t believe she’s gone....

I’ve looked everywhere for her....

She’s... _gone...._

                                                                                          ***

“Well, later guys. I’m off to Gramp’s shop for some dragon – Uh!”

I fell back, off my skateboard, but I quickly regained my balance and grabbed my board. I turned and realized I’d hit someone.

“Sorry, I – Oh!”

It was Rose.

“Hey...there.”

She looked up at me with her gorgeous, blue eyes.

“Hey yourself,” she replied in her velvety tone.

I picked up her fallen books and handed them to her. She looked at me funny.

“You look really familiar...” she said. She leaned close to me, as if joking. “Do I know you from somewhere?” she asked with a smile. I leaned back in shock and blinked. I turned away from her.

“No.... Sorry.”

“I better get going. My parents are here.”

She started to walk away...but I had to take a chance to start again.

“So...I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Actually, you won’t. My dad got a job overseas. We’re leaving for Hong Kong first thing tomorrow.” She started to walk away. “Well, it was nice talking to you.” And with that, she scampered over to her parents on the other side of the street. Her parents hugged her with love in their eyes.

“You too, Rose....

“Happy Homecoming....”

Then, she was gone.

                                                                                          ***

_As I start to cut away,_

_You’ve got to promise me_

_That you will take MY KNIIIIIIIIIIIFE!_

                                                                                          ***

Don’t get me wrong. I was happy for her...I was.

But then again, it took a toll on me.

My stomach was beyond its breaking point.

It started out small. I started skipping breakfast on the way to school. I figured I just wasn’t hungry in the morning.

Then, I stopped eating dinner. I assumed I was getting enough at lunch....

Then I ate less of that, too.

After school, I started throwing up before dragon practice. Even dragon training was painful for me, remembering the magical community and the reason why she had to go in the first place....

I couldn’t take it anymore.... I started doing it _again_....

_It_ turned into _every day_. Then, I moved onto my other arm as well. I couldn’t stop.... I just had to keep going.... There was nothing else left for me.

I’m dying on the inside...wasting away.

There’s nothing left of me...the real me.

I hide how I feel by just doing what I have to do so no one notices that this isn’t the real me anymore.

I’m a body...

Without a soul....

I live in my own, sick, twisted lie.

There really is nothing left of me.

I’m dead inside.

                                                                                          ***

_Maybe after all, you will see...._

_As I start to cut away and start to take my life...._

***

It’s around 12:00 a.m.... in Hong Kong. My family, along with Trixie and Spud came here for the Thousand Year Toast.

Rose is here.

I stare at the picture of the two of us in my hand. It was from that first dance in seventh grade when I brought that damn Nix to the dance.

Rose and I were so happy then. She was smiling in the picture, and so was I.

I haven’t smiled a _real_ smile since I last saw her.

I’ll find her.

I know I will.

                                                                                          ***

_Maybe after all, you will see...._

_As I start to cut away_

_And start to take my life!_

***

I’m heading home from saving the world from the Dark Dragon...again.

I had to convince her to remember me, but after leaving the picture in her house, she remembered me again.

On the way home...we kissed...over...and over...and over again until we dropped her off home.

What will happen now, you ask?

Well, with the help of my buddy, Nigel Thrall, we managed to “convince” Rose’s dad’s boss to move the company to New York again.

Hey...did you know Rose’s last name was Draco?

So now all of us are heading back...together, at last.

When we get back, the first thing I’m doing is coming clean to Rose. I’m going to tell her exactly everything that I did when she was away, and then I’ll apologize by bringing her to Madison Square Garden to see her favorite band, April Sixth.

After that, we’re going to her favorite restaurant, Jekyll and Hyde’s.

Then, we’ll go back to my place...to just...well...talk...and stuff.

She said that she’ll be enrolling in Fillmore High School with the rest of us next year. There are only two weeks until summer vacation, and we’re going to spend it together. I’ll teach her how to skateboard, we’ll watch some Kung Fu movies, and save the world _together._

I hope she forgives me for what I’ve done to myself.

After all....

_I love her._


End file.
